Zarel Emails/25
Zarel E-Mail #25 Zarel finally gets a new computer, and a new house to boot. Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Zarel, Wind-Up Zarel, Homestar Runner, Homeschool Winner Places: Strong Bad's Basement, Outside Strong Bad's House, Bubs' Concession Stand, The Field, The Roomy-Vac Transcript {Cut to Strong Bad's Basement, Strong Bad and Zarel are lying on the floor} STRONG BAD: Alright, this is finally it. Now will you leave? ZAREL: Nooooot yet. STRONG BAD: WHAT?! This is your 25th email! That warranty...you read it... ZAREL: But they haven't. STRONG BAD: {yelling} Oh, enough with the fourth wall breaking! Just...just use the freakin' Block again! ZAREL: Sorry, Strong Bad, but that computer's a little too Polish. STRONG BAD: {yelling} Too Polish?! Abd...hurk...AAAAAAHHHHH! {shot to outside Strong Bad's house, Zarel gets thrown out of a window and hits the ground} STRONG BAD: THAT IS IT! You are so not totally not never unallowed in this house again! ZAREL: Urgh...now how am I going to check that email? {Wind-Up Zarel walks onscreen} ZAREL: Wind-up me? You mean you survived the explosion? WIND-UP ZAREL: Not at all, in fact, I've had your inbox backed up for a while now. The most I can do is print out this email you're looking to check. ZAREL: Well do it then! WIND-UP ZAREL: Yessir! {opens his mouth, and a piece of paper prints out} subj: Warranty Dear Mr. Lewis, We at the Compy Corporation would like to inform you that although your Cappy was utterly obliterated, it is still under warranty. You are allowed to chose one Compy Computer that Strong Bad hasn't bought for absolutely nothing. Come on down at your latest convenience Sincerely, Bob Frank O'Brian Customer Service, Compy Corp. ZAREL: Wow! A warranty that I totally haven't read before, and is totally not expired! I finally have a new computer! WIND-UP ZAREL: But you have no address of the place. How will we get there? STRONG BAD: {offscreen, yelling} I'm so angry I could throw this at you! {Zarel gets hit with a Compy Catalog which knocks his head off} WIND-UP ZAREL: How convenient. ZAREL: I think I just found my computer! Let's hit that address! {Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand, the sign says "Compy Corp."} ZAREL: Wait wait...this is Compy Corporation? BUBS: You betcha! Now what can I do ya for, Mr. Lewis? ZAREL: Well...um...Bubs...could I see your selection of computers? BUBS: Sure thing! Just look in that book in your hand! {Zarel opens the book and begins to read it} ZAREL: Wait a minute...didn't I determine what computer I wanted about four lines ago? {Cut to a random spot in The Field} ZAREL: Now my computer should be here any moment now...Wait...what is that box thing? {Cut to a shot of a large box, shadowed by the angle of the sun, being heaved on the end of a truck bed} {Zarel is crushed by a Roomy-Vac} ZAREL: {yelling} Oi, my everything! {Cut to a shot of Homestar in the driver's seat} HOMESTAR: You're welcome! ZAREL: Bones...snapping...lungs...crushing...body...dying... {Wind-Up Zarel lifts the Roomy-Vac up on its side} WIND-UP ZAREL: Boy, that's nasty. {fade in and out, Zarel, who is strangely one hundred percent healthy and Wind-Up Zarel observe the computer's exterior} ZAREL: So...it's a house and a computer? Like a house-puter? WIND-UP ZAREL: It's got an eight-inch monitor and a built in printer. That's what the catalog said. ZAREL: This is incredible! Although I don't exactly like how the monitor and printer are outside. {Suddenly, a pop-up appears on the RoomyVac's monitor} ROOMY-VAC Would you like to invert your monitor and printer? ZAREL: WOAH! It's like you can read my mind! Please do! {the Roomy-Vac's monitor and printer flip around on the inside, replaced by a painting of a boat} ZAREL: Speaking of printers...Homeschool? {Homeschool Winner hands Zarel the wall fragment with the printer taped to it} {Cut to inside the Roomy-Vac, Bubs is hammering the wall shard over the Roomy-Vac's printer} BUBS: There y'are! ZAREL: Thanks, Bubs! Looks like I'm back in action...again! {The Paper} Fun Facts *The Roomy-Vac was first seen in Compy Catalog. Also, Zarel's one lucky son of a gun to get a $240,999.99 computer for free from warranty.